Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's engagement is an inspiration to all of us normal folk
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are getting married, a development largely ignored by the mainstream media as they focus on more trivial matters like the NHS crisis and the government's continued austerity programme.
But thankfully, this morning The Sun have devoted 25 pages and a poster to the engaged couple. I didn't realise marriages were rewarded in this way. If Harry and Meghan get 25 pages and a poster in honour of their engagement, I look forward, at least, to making the cover of Racing Post and having my face plastered all over Gardener's World when my time comes.
It's emerged that Harry proposed while cooking Meghan a chicken dinner. It just shows how wrong people are when they accuse the royals of being out of step with the rest of us. It doesn't get more normal than a chicken dinner, particularly when it's decorated with rare truffles and accompanied by a bottle of Dom Perignon.
Like any self-respecting couple, Harry designed his engagement ring using his mother's priceless diamonds. As we speak, I'm raiding my mum's personal collection of diamante bracelets, and like Harry, I've invested in Diamond by Numbers: engagement ring edition. Apparently, a similar ring would cost £60k on the open market. It would be even more if Harry hadn't been so careless with the PVA glue.
There are currently no plans for a Bank Holiday. That's fair enough. At the end of the day it's our taxes that fund the royal family. William and Kate's wedding cost over £25m, so if we have too many days off, Harry will end up pawning the ring and they'll have to move the wedding reception to a local Harvester.
Rumours suggest the couple were introduced by the famous American fashion designer Misha Nonoo. I can relate. My girlfriend and I were also introduced to each other by a notable american: Jack Daniel's. We're still good friends now.
My girlfriend and I are sweating on the fact that when her visa ends next year, we may well be separated by thousands of miles. There's no such anxiety for Harry and Meghan as, despite the latter being an American, she'll be allowed to settle in the UK. Rather than being jealous, I'm very happy for them both. He's worked his way up from the bottom to afford to live with the woman he loves. If only I'd worked as hard and not waited for life to give to me, then maybe I'd be in the same position.