Sanum Ghafoor takes a look at a week that saw Cameron increase the rich white male count in the cabinet and Prince Harry put some clothes on

Harry

This has been quite an interesting week in the world of politics. In case you’ve been under a rock this last week, not to fear; here’s the juicy highlights. You’re welcome.

Monday

The main talking point of the day, if not week, was the reshuffle of the Cabinet. Q) What’s the difference between a pack of cards and the Tories? A) When you reshuffle a pack of cards you take the jokers out. But for Davie boy, nothing has really changed. It’s probably just like being back in college for him. Eton College to be precise.

In Paralympic related news, I want to personally shake the hands of every single person that booed George Osborne during the Paralympic Athletics Medal Ceremony.

The icing on the cake would have been if the athletes had bitch slapped David Cameron with their Olympic medals “and that’s for calling me a benefit scrounger, you little fucker!” Well, there’s always the Rio games. Fingers crossed.

Tuesday

Appointing Jeremy Hunt as the new health secretary is like placing an elephant in a porcelain shop. This is the same man who tried to block the NHS section in the Olympic opening ceremony. That was the only bearable part of the whole ceremony, along with that Daniel Craig bit… What? Are you telling me you wouldn’t?

On a slightly better note to end Tuesday, Sarah Palin is reported to be on the outs with the Fox network. They no longer feel she’s worth her million dollar contract …who are you kidding Fox, was she ever worth it? Poor Sarah, that really says something when FOX doesn’t even want you…

Wednesday

Cameron GangstaAM: the First Lady, Michelle Obama, made her ‘Vote for my Husband’ speech. This is the speech they make to appeal to female voters demographic and also where she brags about how great her husband is, making us feel like our other half has nothing on ‘Barack Baby.’ Michelle Michelle, your man sounds like a top notch bloke and I’m SO happy for you. Now, about those drone strikes in Pakistan and Yemen…

PM: Whilst Michelle was giving that speech, urging people to support her husband, 7 people were killed in a drone strike in Yemen authorized by Barack Obama. What a great bloke. Obama has authorized 283 strikes in Pakistan. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has authorized…none. Who’s the real enemy again?

Thursday

Our favourite talk show host Glenn Beck has spent the majority of his show complaining about how a flight attendant was rude to him for no reason …Maybe she was rude to you BECAUSE YOU’RE GLENN BECK.

In less comical news, why have the UK government failed to seize stolen fortunes stashed in the UK, belonging to key figures in the Mubarak regime 18 months on? Once William Hague’s stopped interfering in other countries, I’m sure he’ll get right onto it.

Friday

We’ll keep Friday short and sweet. Prince Harry is returning to Afghanistan. Let’s hope he keeps his clothes on this time. And let’s end the working week with some good news; Jeremy Hunt is the latest to be booed at the Paralympics. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy!